Tag: psychology



Insert from the book THE SUFFERING OF THE INTROVERT for English-speaking clients

We were born intelligent and perfect for our life mission

Each of us has some episodes in our lives when we wish the earth would just swallow us up and hide us from our embarrassments. In spite of it all, when we find ourselves in challenging situations, we fear the same thing could happen again – what a fiasco. We think we are incurable fools and everlasting losers that will always be used by others. “Born a fool, die a fool” is a common expression. This is a foolish expression and an excuse for people to never question the situations that are repeating in their life.

            After a child is born, it has all the knowledge it will ever need. The size of its eyes won’t change significantly. In its disproportionately big head, everything is prepared to be taken into it, copied, and created. A child is intelligent from the moment it’s born. It has the senses of smell, colors, and sounds so developed that we don’t need to explain to it what color something is or what kind of sound it hears. A child is full of curiosity and learns at the speed of light. But why does that child often grow up to be an unattractive adult and an aggressive, complicated, lazy adult – a detriment to himself? In what moment or development period does this happen? Adolescents usually shut off from their parents, or other authorities, and open up to all the silly things in the world and, in spite of it all, exactly at the most sensitive age when they still “know nothing about life”. At times they even self-destruct in dangerous activities that were not available to us when we were their age.

            I’m an advocate of the philosophy that we all have to experience life on our own. Our mission is not finished on this earthly life if we haven’t learned all the lessons needed for us to develop into beings of a higher spiritual level. It might seem that someone has it easy in this life – unlike ourselves or someone else who bears all the troubles of the world on their shoulders. Good people seem to get hurt and bear the heaviest crosses while others, “less worthy”, slip by through all the hardships life throws their way.

            Few of us grow up in an ideal environment. They say that parents cannot and need not be perfect; let them be good enough for a child to develop into an average adult and to lay the foundations for its further, autonomous development. There are those who always use a difficult and unjust childhood as an excuse and constantly throw it in the face of others, most often their still living parents. Their current situations is everybody else’s fault, but not theirs.

            For instance, I could say that my sufferings are my parents’ and my step-parents’ fault, but I will not because it is not true. The environment was, by some miracle, more inclined towards me than to my brothers. However, I’m not saying that everything was just ideal for my physical and spiritual development. My mother wasn’t perfect, but to her kids, she was the ideal mother. Everything needed to be exactly as it was in order for me to become who I am today. The kind of person I am, the purpose of my life, my aspirations, the level of my spiritual development, my persistence and perseverance in life’s challenges – all of it could be the effect of the environment I grew up in, but not a precondition.

            The feeling of being second when a new brother or sister is born does not always need to be a traumatic experience for the eldest child. The first-born child can often assert itself, have jealous outbursts, but a smart parent will recognize and accept that fight for maintaining a position. They will dedicate enough time and inexhaustible love for the older, “threatened” child, too.

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